The last words

20th Nov

I asked:
How are you? I’m still thinking of you…

You replied:

I am good thanks. I know things aren’t really going great for us.And I feel helpless at this stage. I think about you too all the time. But I dun know how to handle us now…

I replied:

U know what. I think I’m going crazy thinking of you. I should tell you this. It’s a mistake. Let us stop the sms and whatsoever contact. Be no more than casual friends. Coz ur juz and idiot who dun know what he’s doing. I dunno how to handle u either n I really wish to get on with my life. Let the past be past. Goodbye for good.

You replied.

Some text were missing from your msg. Was waiting for it to update but it never did. Yes. I am an idiot. Has been n always will be. I dun want to explain anything bcoz I know I am wrong. Dun want to go on hurting you and making you wait for me everyday. But I dun know how to let you know. That I am at crossroads. I cannot dcide where I want to go. who I want to be. 2 weeks ago I was sure.Now I am not.

I replied.

Let me update you. I will not be hurt by the same person. Let me tell you which road to take. Take the one without me in the picture. Sorry it has to come to this. But better now than later. I just wish you a good life. Let the memories stay in d past. Now and forever. Goodbye for good.

You replied,
Sorry I come in and out of ur life the way you hate most,. But I never lied. That I am sure of. Juz dun know why I cannot keep up with a long distance relationship for long. And I am also sick of myself these days about killing us both playing the waiting game. Mistake I dun know. Not meant to be now I’m beginning to believe.

I replied.

I know you didn’t lie. I pray we both wake up tomorrow and it’s all a dream. I know I will cry tears for many nights, but soon it will be over, even if ten years.

You replied.

U have stronger resolve than I. I am weird and so damn inconsistent. I;m screwed up. You deserve way better n you know it. I wish I never live a day to hurt you again. Tomorrow you wake up and you never have to wait for news from me. How good is that? I didn’t know what to say at first but you helped me so much. I will miss this. I dun cry that much but will spend some time questioning my sanity. Maybe another knock would do the job faster.

I have nothing more to say….so I cried and tried to sleep.