About

I am a girl, who like analysing my screwed up mind. These stories are about myself, should the persons mentioned sound like someone you know, then consider these stories fiction and entirely concoctions of my little mind.

I started writing this blog as an outlet for my feelings, emotions, thoughts, particularly thoughts I am hiding from the world, hiding from people I love, hiding from anyone at all. It is basically the other side of me, or the hidden side. A side I am probably too ashamed to admit is me.

I started writing this blog when someone I love at 16 years old, came back into my life after 10 years we lost touch. His coming back caused all sorts of mixed emotions and that hidden side of me started resurfacing. At the time of meeting him back, I was already in a serious relationship. You know how it feels, that innocent love you had for someone when you were just a teenager? It definitely felt like the purest true love, one can never forget their first love, so it seems.

Well, the time I had with this old love, was only 2 weeks. And then we called it off. I knew all the while it wasn’t going to go anywhere. He left me when I was 16, at 26 he did it again. Some lessons are never learned. It took me a long long time to get over it and get healed. Thus, this blog chronicles my crazed emotions over the period of healing. On the exterior I looked the same to everyone, on the interior I was dead for 2 years. Using all my energy to get back on my feet. I had to rebuild my foundations again.

This person I loved, I still love him. Somehow when you love someone, you can’t stop loving them just like that, it doesn’t matter what he had done or never did. I want nothing from him. Today, we are occasionally still in contact, and he still puts a smile on my face, although this time, I am not as innocent and gullible as I used to be. Everything is taken with a pinch of salt. I will be happy for him, if he can be happy too.