Love unconditional

Can one truly love with all their heart and then totally not feel a thing for the person they once loved? For me it’s not possible. Crushes are different, but when you love someone and put all your heart into that person, and then it’s all over, you can’t just move on and forget and have no more feelings when thinking back to that person ever.

I have moved on, but once I loved you. I would have given you anything you asked. I was prepared to give up my life, my everything, just to be with you. Day and night I wished to see you. Even after you leave, I wanted to be angry with you and then erase you from my heart. I cannot do it. Ten years later, I am able to love someone else. But I can’t unlove you. Thinking of you, I still have that unexplainable feelings. We never touched, yet I cannot forget that connection we had. I am ready to love you the same again, but I know I am now nothing in your heart. A memory long forgotten, and gladly thrown out.

Can a person say I love you and turn his back? Can a person who used to think of you every waking hour now despise you? Can a person who used to regard you as the most important, now wished you don’t exist? What is love. Is it not vanity. It is unconditional…just as I love you, and wish nothing in return. I would give it all to see you happy again.

New Love

I wrote him another email. Friendly one. And then I found out he’s started dating again. How nice. It didn’t feel like a stab in the heart. A little baffled though, considering his reason of leaving was because he couldn’t get over the ex. Exactly a year later….he has a new beau. Young and cute. Sigh, it’s so easy for guys isn’t it. To jump from one ship to another. Why do girls take forever to heal.

Happy Anniversary

Unbelievable…I missed the first year anniversary of this blog, by four days. Writing here, is like writing stuff I can’t really tell you in reality. Some things, are better left unsaid? I still continue bugging you once in a while with smses…I wonder what you felt about that. Do you appreciate the fate I still think of you, that I still keep you in my heart. Or do you find me irritating.

Recently, I sent him and sms, I told him I had chosen not to ever forget him. It is hard enough to struggle to forget, I might as well, decide not to, and just dwell in it, not letting it hurt me, just letting it be a sweet memory. I had not been known to be of good memory, a year after, I had really started to forget, it serves a distant memory, like when you dream of something and awake after that, and it’s hard to remember what the dream was about, coz it seemed so blurred and illogical?

I realised though, that happiness does not cause me to think of you. It is when I have an argument, when somebody let me down, that I wished I have you with me. I guess in my heart you had become the person that I would run to in times of sorrow. A year ago, I was in that shape. I was not sure where I was headed, basically just confused, when you appeared. The perfect opportunity to divert from my situation to something worse.

But this time this year, I have new found joy. We both made the right choice, to let it slide. One thing that I can hope, that you will be happy.